Bad Naming Ideas

Some notes on names for children:

  • Alliterative first and last names are bad. Larry Lawler will know no school-yard peace.
  • Rhyming first and last names are worse. Gary Parry had better find an awesome nickname, and sell it hard.
  • Australian girls should not be named Dianne or Dianna, unless their parents want every social encounter in their children’s lives to begin with an exhoration to “Die!”. (“Hey Die! are you free this Saturday night?”)
  • Family planning: A boy who may be an only child should never be called “Bob”. It would be a terrible shame for “Bob” to never be anyone’s uncle.